Cards Against My Humanity
by EvilRegalBonhamCarter
Summary: Emma, Regina, and the Charming's try and play Cards Against Humanity, awkward. A little bit of SwanQueen sexy times too.


**Yay! Another one-shot. Yes I plan on updating my other stories eventually but my muses for them have momentarily left me and now I'm going to be moving a a couple weeks and that's a whole different kind of mess. This was from a Tumblr prompt. **

**I haven't really felt like editing my own stories lately so sorry for any mistakes. **

**I do not own OUaT or any of the characters and I've only kind of played Cards Against Humanity once.**

_**Prompt: Just a wee prompt for a SQ fic if you have time or want to? 'Cards against humanity' Regina plays it with Emma and the Charming's one night. Things get awkward pretty fast.. Then sexiness follows? :)**_

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"Okay so the way you play the game is we each get so many white cards and each person gets a chance to choose a black card. Then once whoever chooses the black card we each put in a white card, face down so no one can see what it says, and then whoever chose the black card chooses which ever white card they think go best with it. And it can be anything. Do you kind of get it?" Emma rambled on the rules of Cards Against Humanity as quickly and easily as possible.

"Yep, I think so." Charming nodded his head.

"Yes, dear, it sounds quite simple." Regina agreed.

"Um… So the black card is our prompt and our white card is our answer?" Snow clarified.

"Yes, wow, that's a lot easier and quicker way to explain it," Emma muttered, "Okay let's get started. I'll just draw the first black card, and it's what did I bring back from Mexico? Now I don't put a card down because I'm the one who chose the black card."

She watched as David, Mary Margaret, and Regina all looked through their cards and one by one laid them on the table in front of Emma, "Let's see, we have: a monkey: hmmm wonder who's this could be, next one is rich: were you selling drugs in Mexico, and last, the heart of a child: wow okay… I'm going with… the heart of a child."

"Good job, dear," Regina smirked as she chose the next card, blushing as she silently read it before reading it out loud and setting it on the table, "How did I lose my virginity?"

She also watched as everyone picked out a card smirking at her girlfriend trying to cover up a chuckle. She watched as David and Mary Margaret both blushed as they put down their cards before she picked up all three and read them aloud, "Oh these are ridiculous. I choose Emma's."

"Not fair, you have to read them out loud." Emma whined.

"Fine," Regina grumbled, "they are: Snow White, Prince Charming, and Friendly Fire; I sincerely hope that you didn't pick Snow White or Prince Charming, Emma."

"Uh no," Emma grimaced as she lightly blushed, "and now I'm scarred for life. Thanks guys."

"Oh really because you choosing friendly fire isn't scarring; we aren't dumb Emma, we know what you do with Regina."

"Okay, this just got super awkward. I regret deciding to play it with you guys; it was much more fun with Ruby, Belle, Graham, and Will. I think we're done. No more games like this with you guys." Emma replied as she picked up the cards and started getting ready to go, "I think we're just going to go home."

"Yes, I also think this is a good decision. Let's go, dear," Regina quickly replied almost running to the door. Emma didn't miss the way her girlfriend's eyes had darkened, "we'll see you later this week and maybe we'll play something like Monopoly."

20 minutes later Regina and Emma were kissing their way inside the house and up the stairs to their bedroom room, knowing Henry was at a friend's house for the night, only stopping to remove pieces of clothing or to push the other person into a wall or door to then somehow deepen their kiss and mold into each other even further, "Bed, now," Regina growled at the blonde woman, both of them moving quicker to get to their room and onto their bed. Moments later they both crashed onto their giant bed moving against one another quickly and fluently. Finally pulling apart from each other for some much needed air.

All that could be heard for the next couple of minutes was their heaving breathing as their bare chests heaved up and down against each other, nipples slightly touching, causing tingling sensations of pleasure to course through both women straight to their cores, "Oh God, Regina, touch me please," Emma groaned as Regina moved and their heated centers touched, "shit… I ne-need you now."

"Emma," Regina replied in a breathy whisper, "is this… is this friendly fire?"

They both chuckled as Emma reached up and pulled the brunette woman towards her to claim her lips once again. Hands ghosted over heated flesh softly touching and caressing, moving from breasts to butt then up to taunt stomachs and down to slick centers. Before they entered each other, each two fingers, knuckle deep causing them both to moan loudly into each other's mouths, as they quickened their pace. The only sounds that could be heard were their muffled moans and the sound of their wet desire and they pushed further into each other, both trying to keep their pace as their inner walls began to clench around their fingers, tightly.

Suddenly both women were sent hurdling over the edge into orgasmic bliss crying out the others name, Regina collapsing onto Emma both of them removing their fingers to taste their loved one on their lips before sharing a gentle kiss, "S'mazing," Emma mumbled, "that was definitely 'friendly fire'."

Regina chuckled as she placed another gentle kiss onto Emma's slips as she moved to cuddle into the blondes side, "Indeed it was."

****Meanwhile at the Charming's apartment****

Snow and David are curled up on the couch watching Titanic. Suddenly, David looks down at Snow and states, "I bet they're having some 'friendly fire' right now."

"David!" Snow shrieks before punching him on the shoulder as he laughs out loud to her reaction.

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**Thanks for reading. Please review.**


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